Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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