I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
