He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
