I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize