Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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