I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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