Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize