is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
