I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
