the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
