brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
