so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
