now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
