Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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