I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He called his prostate his "boner button".
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
