therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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