I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
