would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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