She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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