sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
