hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize