There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize