I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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