I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need to calm my uterus...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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