Do vagina's smell?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
