Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
