I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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