You're my little dorito
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
