Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
