i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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