My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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