you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
