Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
