If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
