OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
