she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
