after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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