There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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