I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
