Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
