this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
