his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
