Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
