Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
