The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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