? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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