Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
