I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
