Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
