yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize