Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
