Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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