At least make sure they are 18
Why
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
