first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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