How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
