I could have mohawked her pubes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
