oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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