What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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