I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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